SuperBowl LI Drinking Game

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Alright people, SuperBowl Sunday is officially here and I am HERE. FOR. IT. and the opportunity it presents to get drunk while eating wings on a school night. Some of you may be watching it for the game, some may be watching for the commercials, some may be watching for Lady Gaga’s halftime show, I will be watching because the game is in Houston and there’s NO WAY Beyoncé Giselle Knowles would pass up an opportunity to rep her hometown. H-Town bitches. Anyways, let me present the official SuperBowl drinking game so we can make this SuperBowl LI(t).

  1. Tom Brady broods: take 1 drink and declare that he really is very handsome
  2. A player is interviewed and says “it’s just an honor to be here”: take 1 drink
  3. The cameraman zooms in on someone in the crowd with a Deflategate sign: take 1 drink
  4. Troy Aikman reminisces about playing in the SuperBowl: sip your beer while rolling your eyes
  5. An ad references the current political situation and twitter starts blowing up: take a shot
  6. Bill Belichik looks grumpy: finish your drink
  7. Bud Light fucks up again and advertises non-consensual behavior: throw your beer in the trash and start drinking something harder
  8. Anytime anyone says”concussion protocol” because it’s sounds like the name of the next Call of Duty game or action movie–Mission Impossible: Concussion Protocol: take 1 drink
  9. You remind yourself that the concussion protocols are in place to deter the debilitating brain injuries players develop: take 1 drink and reflect morosely
  10. You spot Beyoncé in the crowd: spill your drink in excitement
  11. The boys in the apartment below you yell belligerently at their tv: go give them a drink, they seem to need it
  12. Lady Gaga is extra: take two shots
  13. You think about how organized sports are the only thing holding this country together: start drinking, never stop

 

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