I think I speak for all of us when I say, thank God you’re coming to campus.You are a man of astute pedigree, and it has been too long. I have a request for you. More of a demand but it’s all like whatevs. So The Thrill is really scraping the bottom of the barrel for funds as of late. Times are tough. We are asking for $500,000 in cold, hard cash. Bundle it, place it in a briefcase, and stand in the Fusion line at 12:16pm for lunch on February the 25th. Once there, ask for three eggs with your panko rice. The AVI staffer behind the glass will then take the case, you enjoy your panko rice, and life goes on. Simple.
Each day you do not give the $500,ooo to us, a clock will be placed in one of your beautifully designed buildings on campus. If after 10 days we have not received this money in full, we will start adding trashcans to your beautifully designed buildings.
To reflect communal feelings about your return to campus, I have curated a musical playlist! Enjoy.
Pretty self-explanatory, right? Right.
Gund has since replied saying,