I know how you feel. It’s February at Kenyon, and you’re getting ready to spend the entire month swamped with work, at the height of your seasonal affective disorder, and overall just a little bummed out. But instead, Mother Nature handed you a solid. What the shit? Here we all were, ready to be miserable for an entire month, but instead it’s warm and we’re all expected to spend the whole day looking like a goddamn admissions pamphlet. Luckily, here are some helpful ideas of what you can do to make it out of this month alive.
- Now that the ground has thawed, you can take this chance to bury your baby teeth in Middle Path. Honestly, it’s really weird that you still have them. We all talk about it behind your back.
- Take some time for yourself and look at that weird statue in the middle of the Science Quad for as long as possible. What is it? How did it get here? How should we attempt to make peace with it?
- Tell yourself that you’re finally going to walk the Gap Trail, and then decide against it.
- Take off your shoes! Just air those puppies out, in class, in Olin, outside, in the Fusion line in Peirce.
- Switch out your high-waisted Levi jeans with the more seasonally appropriate high-waisted Levi jean cut-offs.
- Say something vague about global warming.
- Finally call Campus Safety to get your bike out of its bike lock. Yeah, like, I don’t know how it happened, but the combination on my bike lock changed or something and it’s been outside of Ascension since before winter break. And it wasn’t a big deal when I thought it was gonna be cold but now I really need the increased mobility a bike provides, so, yeah, I guess it’s time to call Safety.
- Do some hot yoga in Chalmers.