The Monday Catchup


Here I am writing this post right now. Nice to see you again!!!

What can I say about Spring Break 2017 that hasn’t already be said about the wheel, penicillin, or the iPhone – this is a gift to us all. Yet, just as the  wheel, penicillin, and the iPhone have changed, so too has Spring Break 2017. How so? Well, it’s over. Extinct. Gone. Spent. For all 14 days of break, I blissfully ignored the reminder on my phone to pay a lock out fee. I had my March Madness bracket tattooed on my back (Sorry mom. Let’s go Duke. Ball out.). I took several nice baths each preceded by a healthy bowel movement! I celebrated another day not receiving jury duty summons.

I’m back on campus now.

In an attempt to overcome the crippling sadness of coming back, I socialized with you people. Here’s how spring break went.

“Don’t do wine enemas. Not over spring break. Not any time.”

“It snowed the whole time I was home. So much for spring.”

“English comps send you into a dark, scary place.”

Sounds good! Let’s all go to Peirce and collectively partake in a pierce coffee colon cleanse™. You’re damn right I trade marked that. Capitalizing on locally sourced laxatives is the name of the game. What’s your game plan for this week? Check out these campus happenings. GO!

What: Chamber Singers Spring Concert

  • After a grueling one-week, cross-country tour the Kenyon College Chamber Singers are back home, and they have something to say or, rather, to sing.
  • Feast your eyes on 53 of Kenyon’s hottest musicians while their gentle voices cradle you in supple tenderness.
  • I hear Billy Weber, Kit Fluharty, Porter Morgan, Madelyn Schneider, Will Rossiter, Sean Seu, Dora Segall, Kendall Theroux, George Costanzo, Juliet Levy, James Hansen, Sam Roschewsk, and ESPECIALLY Mia Fox really carry this choir.
  • Those people paid me to mention their names, ESPECIALLY Billy Weber. That kid will do anything for attention. He reminds me of a plain bagel with plain cream cheese.
  • LISTEN (All jokes aside, please come.)

When: Saturday, March 25 at 8:00pm

Where: Rosse

What: Nothing else

  • The only thing you need is choral music.
  • Game on!

When: Saturday, March 25 at 8:00pm

Where: Rosse

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