The Best Kenyon College Alumni

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Kenyon has so many fantastic alumni that it’s easy to let a lot of them go overlooked. Yeah, we got Allison Janney, but what about Seabiscuit? I’d like to take this time to spotlight some Kenyon alumni that I think deserve a little recognition.

  • Hank Green. If there’s any one alumnus that demonstrates the success rate of Kenyon’s science department, it’s Hank Green. John who? Fault in our what?
  • The goats that became the goat tacos. Fare thee well, Pajamas.
  • Graham Cracker!
  • Zac Efron from the movie Liberal Arts. Boy oh boy is there nothing I want more than to have a perfectly fine night in an abnormally well-lit DKE lounge and then for Zac Efron to pseudo-intellectualize at me. Pseudo-intellectualism is why I came to Kenyon in the first place!
  • A sea biscuit.
  • David Foster Wallace. One of Kenyon’s most famous alumni since he came for one day in 2005. People will try to tell you as you chuckle to yourself while reading Infinite Jest and look around to make sure everyone sees how well you understand this book that David Foster Wallace didn’t actually go to this school, but don’t believe them.
  • Jon Hamm. Well, almost. Fuck that guy.
  • The ghosts. These ones may not technically be alumni because, like, they died before graduating but they’re still cool!!!
  • Probably actually any of them except for Rutherford B. Hayes.

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