The Monday Catchup

It was a long wait, but Earl Poloshirt finally headlined his own show in Gambier this weekend.  The Odd Future member was initially set to perform at Kenyon College back in February, around when he released his sophomore studio album: I Don’t Like Shit, I Don’t Go Outside.  Tickets quickly sold out, and were even selling on secondary markets like Stubhub and Kenyon Thrift for more than quadruple the price. Earl Buttondown unfortunately fell sick on tour, and had to postpone his show until now. Due to the high demand to see Earl Scubasuit perform, the venue was switched from South Quad to the larger Peirce Lawn, with original South Quad tickets being honored and a new batch of tickets selling out.

This would be my first time seeing Earl Greytea perform, and he has a solid body of work to pull off headlining a set. Two studio albums worth of music provided a steady hour and a half of background music for my love making session with a basket of Krazy Kurly fries.

I went to bed at 9:30pm. How was your weekend?

“I peed right in the middle of a hallway. I know I should say that to you….or anyone.”

“Nights would be so peaceful great if everyone just started drinking at four everyday.”

“It is just one of those weekends.”

*beeeeuuuuuuggghhh* That was an onomatopoeic burp because I just finished CRACKING ONE OPEN WITH THE BOYS happy last week of classes. I’m running out of things to say.

What:  Kokes and Creeks

  • Leave feeling worse about yourself because you:
    • A) Can’t sing as well as them (ha, well I certainly can)
    • B) Aren’t as attractive as them (the jury is still out on this one)
    • C) Can’t squat as low as any of the Kokes can. Seriously. They have disgusting amounts of quadricep AND vocal power.
    • D) Can’t rock a black jumpsuit and heels as well as any of the Creeks.
  • I constantly question why they never sing this song. (I can just envision those harmonies at the 3:29 min. marker!)
  • Fun Fact: One time one of the Creeks looked at me with such genuine tenderness, I immediately took out my contact lenses and let them dry out. I took he dry lenses and framed them. I’ll forever have that vision of tenderness.
  • Fun Fact: In Peirce, one of the Kokes and I reached for the spoons at the same time. I let him go first.

When: Frankly, I have no idea. Friday or Saturday.

Where: The dumpsters behind the VI or Rosse. TBA, honestly.

What: MY BIRTHDAY

  • I know what you’re saying, “Mia, that’s not a Kenyon specific event.” Well you can just scram, plebeian.
  • I’m two decades old, and I know everything there is to know.

When: Wednesday, May 3rd ALL. DAMN. DAY.

Where: Anywhere I am. (Peirce at 8:30am for breakfast, Smather at 9:10am for my first class, Finn House at 10:10am for my second class, Peirce at 11:10am for lunch, Third-floor lib forever, Peirce at 5:10pm, KAC at 6:30pm-7:30pm, 1st floor Old K shower from 7:45pm-8:00pm, Somewhere soft and warm forever, VI at 10:10pm FOR TRIVIA THAT IS “ME ” THEMED. That’s right. I bet Ben Marx and Zoe Andris won’t even read this. They don’t even know that trivia is “everything me” themed. Honestly I challenge them to find a baby picture of me and send it in the trivia e-mail for this week.

I’m narcissistic

and alone.

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