The Monday Catchup

The Monday Catchup has shared a document on Google Docs with you

themondaycatchup@kenyon.edu

to hhhhhhhhhhhh., bcc: old_kenyon_res.

 

The Monday Catchup has invited you to view the following document:

Screen Shot 2017-05-06 at 7.13.26 PM.png

Go ahead. Click the button. Once you do I’ll have access to your social security number, your mother’s maiden name, and the PRECISE location of your last sexual foray. So much for keeping that hookup in the KAC pool a secret. Ew, you did it in the deep end too. Some words that come to mind when I think of two bodies sloshing around are drenched, slippery, and tender. Hypothetically speaking, if I found myself hooking up in a pool, I might stop half way through and whisper in my lover’s ear, “Let’s pretend we are spaghetti noodles being cooked in boiling water.” I’d then surrender my body to the pool  in hopes of later being drenched in Mario Batali’s Tomato Basil Pasta Sauce 24.0 OZ, $5.98, no preservatives, crafted from imported San Marzano tomatoes & fresh basil leaves. Big turn on, I’m told. All hypothetical of course. ;—)

So, uh, how was your weekend?

“I tried turning up, but then finals turned me DOWN.”

“I cried about The Deli being gone – twice.”

“The Creeks and Kokes concert was pure aural and visual pleasure.”

Good luck with finals, you noodles! I wish you nothing but success. Talk to you soon, ok? Love you! Call me. Call me when you finish your last final. I’m arranging the pick up situation with dad. I might have to take off work that Friday to come pick you up, but you might want to stay ’til Saturday morning. Have everything packed so we can get you out easily.

What: Get the hell outta Dodge

  • It’s been too long.
  • I might miss it.
  • I might miss you.
  • Eat a slim jim, and forget it all.

When: Saturday, May 13th

Where: Start here and end somewhere else

 

 

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