There are three types of people on November first.

1) Those who are suffocated by 6 yards of twinkle lights, getting off to fruit cake and mistletoe. (If you are personally offended by this image the solution is simple: Chill. You scare me.)

2) Those who wait for Thanksgiving, relishing in the comfort of normalized colonialism BEFORE the capitalistic surge. (Someone figure out how much Tryptophan will make me sleep through all the holidays.)

3) Those who don’t care about either holiday and want and excuse to get drunk and swap spit. Happy New Year, bleep bloorp vomitalloveryourdress. (If New Years Eve is your favorite holiday, you are clearly grappling with some personal issues. Yikes.)

Here’s music for all you sickos.

Daddy Drank Our Xmas Money – TVTV$

If the name of the group didn’t give it away already, this song is MONEYYY! Music to my ears. Perfect for those who dislike and like Christmas, oddly enough.

 

2 HOURS Thanksgiving Dinner Music Playlist 2014 – Soft Beautiful Music for Brunch, Dinner

Ok. So this isn’t a song per se. BUT, it covers the whole holiday pretty well. I think it is complimented best by loud sounds of Thanksgiving table arguments, forks tapping plates, and you drinking gravy from a straw.

 

some semblance of a song? – Mariah Carey

Lest we forget…

 

This Christmas – Patti LaBelle

The original Mariah Carey

 

If you’re thinking, “Jeeze, Mia this playlist sucks. Like the music doesn’t even sound good.” You’re right. It reflects my thoughts on all of you. Go away.

Happy Holidays!