Good morning my sweet peppers!

My name is Mia Fox. Gosh I hate to do this, but I lost myself last week. I was in the KAC women’s visiting swim team locker room and I put myself in a locker. When I got back from swimming, I was gone. I believed in Kenyon community as a group of students I could trust. Now, however, I am disheartened by the blatant disrespect not only for me, but for myself. Myself was given to me by someone really close to me, and I would love to be reunited soon. If you have seen me, myself, or I, please call 555-555-5555. Please do NOT respond to this email if you think you are a budding comedian and want to make the same tired joke about your “bike” or “pin” or “left testicle” being lost. I really just want to find myself before the end of the year. My mom will be so upset when she comes to pick me up and discovers that someone took myself away from me. ugahagh. I’m gonna go vomit; I’m so nervous thinking about it. How was your weekend?

“Got wasted and ate sushi…so….*coughs*… boring weekend.”

“In a week I will be away from this prison.”

Bind me not with these email chains! Set me free! Do not places these shackles upon me!

What: Sophomore Registration

• Arguably the worst registration period for Kenyon students.
• Sophomores want upper level classes, but can’t get in so they are forced to take only art barn classes, AGAIN.
• Turns out you can’t graduation if you only take art barn classes.

When: Thursday, November 16 at 11:15 a.m. until Friday, November 17 at 4:30 p.m.

Where: Anywhere you can have a box of tissues and bottle of Ibuprofen ready. It’s about to be painful.

 

What: Go away.

• Go.
• …
• …
• Why are you still here? Go!
• …
• …
• …
• …
• How many times do you need me to tell you?!

When: Sunday, November 18 

Where: Start here and end somewhere else.