What the heck is up my sweet gremlins! I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about my favorite holiday, Cyber Monday. It’s the holiday of the future! I’m anxious to make a big dent in the debit card shopping for clothes, and gadgets, and lizards at PetSmart. While shopping on Black Friday I only got one of those things on, unfortunately. Fortunately, the thing I got on Black Friday was a discount lizard. Now, I need more lizards in my life! (I’m a reptilian. Cover blown.) How was your break?

“I drunkenly harassed my mom to watch Big Little Lies with me – drama, cashmere blends, murder, first graders.”

“My grandpa put a raw turkey on his head for fun. Ruined the day for me.”

“I discovered that I’m a reptilian, so that really put a wrench in my plans to exist as a human and not a lizard humanoid.”

Looks like it’s time for me to shop for the best discouts! Smell ya later lizard h8rs!

What:  Chamber Singers and Community Choir Winter Concert

• IF YOU DON’T COME TO THIS YOU ARE TOTAL FLAMING GARBAGE!

When: Saturday, December 2 at 8:00pm

Where: Ro$$3

 

What: First-Year Registration

• You won’t get the classes you want.
• Eat a slim jim and forget it all.

When: Thursday, November 30 at 11:15 a.m. until Friday, December 1 at 4:30 p.m.