You Should Eat a Market Sandwich Right Now

Because I’m a first year, I’ve only been here at Kenyon for like a minute and a half. This means that I never knew the Cove, have only been to Fiesta a handful of times and only went to the Deli when I was here for a summer program. From what I have heard, we are in dire times as it pertains to the food situation in our humble village. While I don’t know anything else, I still feel kind of shortchanged.

But, the one thing that redeems it all, my truest gift here at Kenyon still stands: the market sandwich. Oh, wow, how I love you, market sandwich. You have come to me in my time of need without fail, never breaking for a meal at a weird time because I don’t just want a sandwich during Extendo.

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me eating a market sandwich

There is never a wrong time to go get a market sandwich. There is never a wrong time to mosey up to the back of the market and visit one of the soft-spoken staff. Sometimes, you just want to eat something made by somebody who is not you from something not in a dining hall. So, here’s to you, market sandwich. I’ll eat you anytime, but I made a definitive list of when you are the most satisfying.

  1. You stayed out too late the night before and can’t find it in you to go all the way to Peirce. Are you hungover? Do you live on the Freshman Quad? Good. Perfect time for you to get a sandwich.
  2. It’s 8:30 and you missed dinner. Major bummer, dude. I heard they had tots.
  3. Eating Dominoes sounds awful. You were drunk enough to order pizza last night and today, the leftover empty boxes and gross smell are your calling card.
  4. There are a lot of weird religious nuts yelling about the gays on Middle Path. You just like cannot hear about how you’re going to Hell today. You just, like, can’t do it.
  5. You had a nightmare about the cold salad bar next to Fusion. Take a lap, stop eating the coleslaw.
  6. The locusts are coming again.
  7. You’re covered in boils.
  8. The Kokosing has turned to blood.
  9. Your firstborn is dead and you don’t know if you’ll see morning.

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