PSA to the Raccoon Who Keeps Chewing Through the Power Lines


Please stop. I get it: there aren’t a lot of things for a city fella like you to do in this village. I feel the same way. And I understand how tired you probably are of the repetition of Papa Johns and Keystone in the campus trashcans. Variance is important for a diet like yours. But taking out your frustration on us students by chewing through the power lines and causing massive power outages is unacceptable and honestly inappropriate. There are a multitude, maybe two, other things to do on this campus. Get an omelet from Lisa, chase a student up the hill from the New Apps, maybe even sing “Wagon Wheel” in the Bullseye if you’re a little tipsy and feeling particularly disillusioned by the Kenyon social scene. Please don’t take this as us not respecting the raccoon community. I’m just tired of peeing in the dark in haunted Leonard or being fined for an open flame. I’m all for Blackout for Blackout, but please don’t think that this is the only way you can get us to hang out with you.

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