Here at Kenyon College, we love doing exactly one thing more than we love doing nothing: having a lot to do and complaining about it constantly. But during times like these, the weeks before spring break when everyone feels like the institution of Kenyon College has it out specifically for them, it’s especially hard to make your to-do list seem impressive/impossible. Just double fisting Peirce coffees and downing them in one gulp doesn’t cut it anymore. Luckily, we people at the Thrill want to help you out:

1. Invite your friends to a Power Hour and do it with 5-Hour Energy. “Like, you guys, I’m so tired….I really need this.” 
2. Walk around the library and tell everyone you see that you’re taking a lap because you’re too stressed out. “Yeah, I’m up on third floor. I just really need to hear the sound of human voices right now.”
3. If someone asks how you’re doing, sigh for 45 seconds and say, “I’m good, how are you?”
4. Listen to studying playlists on Spotify. Make sure you’re on a public session so everyone can see your “study music<333” playlist on your activity.
5. Get out your laptop and lunch and say, “I’m sorry, I do not have time to take a break.”
6. Write this article.