Hello! I have a Big Flu. I thought I would make it out of this germy cesspool unscathed. Instead I am reconciling with the fact that the flu vaccine was only, like, thirty percent effective this year and that Knox County has transformed into a plague-ridden apocalyptic death zone. I looked out my window after a coughing fit today and saw a girl walking home holding a tissue to her nose. Everyone is dying. Everyone is flu. Stay healthy, kiddos.

1. Fever Dream 1: I was the the teeniest whale in a fish tank. He was covered in barnacles. The glass was a little foggy. Tank was only ten gallons. Needed more room
2. Fever Dream 2: Tongues. Everywhere
3. My mother called and tried to convince me that I have pneumonia
4. My mother sent me an email with no content, just a subject line: “do you have a microwave?” Then she asked  if all my Poptarts were gone.
5. Chicken noodle soup, except too many: My whole mouth tastes like the chicken cubes and also the broth and the watery jelly noodles and the small, squishy carrots
6. Distinguishing between the Kenyon website and the Kenyon Thrill website because they both have “Kenyon” in them
7. Raccoons caused another power outage (trash boys need a new hobby, I think)
8. My housemate’s cat: ????? !!!!! ?????? She Keeps Looking At Me