10 o’clock list: Cute Lil Ways to Hide Your Unspeakable Wealth

          Everyone wants to be rich, but you don’t want people to KNOW that you’re rich. Other people just tune out your problems when you’ve got Daddy’s trust fund to soothe you to sleep on those long nights. Make sure you get the pity and compassion you deserve from the plebeians with these fun tips!

           1: Study the classics. Any Dickens character is good source of inspiration. Tear holes in your pants. Throw away all your shoes. Abandon bathing.

          2: Buy up all the ramen from the supermarket AND the bookstore. Establishing a complete monopoly on the ramen is a good way to show you too suffer through cheap food. You’ll never run out of ramen. You’ll be the ramen king citizen. The proletariat loves ramen.

          3: Make clever excuses for your nice clothes. “Yeah no, I didn’t BUY this from Ralph Lauren, I got it at Goodwill. God yeah, the DEALS right? I just love thrifting. ” Hobo-Chic baybee.

          4: Only write on paper you have stolen from the library and bound together. Bookstore notebooks are beyond your means now. Destroy your computer. Poor people don’t have computers.

          5: Make a big deal about applying for financial aid. It doesn’t matter that you have no idea how to pay taxes and have avoided doing so for decades. Fake it till you make it! It’s all about ATTITUDE! :)

         6: Make a nest under the modular units. Tell everyone that it makes you feel at home.

          7: Smear dirt on your face.

          8: Groan loudly at passersby.







4 responses

  1. I feel like buying ALL of the ramen might be a potential red flag to the poors. As well as setting off your natural inclination for exploiting a market monopolization for profit, which is a sure giveaway.

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