The Editors of the Kenyon Thrill Confess Their Secrets While You’re at Sendoff


Listen. Here at the Thrill, we have a very measured idea of our own importance. We know you’re not gonna read the blog today, and that’s fine. In fact, we’re going to take advantage of this opportunity to confess our secrets, come clean on things we’re ashamed of, and air our dirty laundry.

Mia Fox, Editor Emeritus/Grandma Thrill
I peed in my bedroom trash can”

Jane Zisman, Daily Editor
I broke into the DKE lodge they didn’t burn it down because no one caught me”
“also I gave a girl a black eye in 5th grade because I pushed her from behind and she hit her head/eye socket on a boy’s shoulder. No one saw me push her so I pretended I didn’t know who pushed her either.”

Cat March, Executive Editor
“I peed behind that lil red barn near the Kokosing, I peed twice”
“I was kissing someone on the mouth and then accidentally coughed into that person’s mouth”
“After my first Thrill party (when I was a first year) I went to my friend’s room, puked into her trash can, and then fell asleep on her floor”

Colleen Kemp, Daily Editor
I used to think that nuns were created without torsos and their habits were for hiding their long ass legs.”

Annie Blackman, Editor in Chief
“sometimes I leave dirty dishes in the servery”
“I wear a toe ring”
“I’ve been accused of kissing with my eyes wide open”

Sarah Hoffmann, Editor in Chief
when i was in 6th grade someone told me that my boyfriend had gotten me a valentine’s day gift and was coming to give it to me during homeroom. i was 12 and the commitment of gifts really freaked out and made my friend break up with him for me on in the hallway on valentine’s days. i still took the gift”
i genuinely think kroger sushi is the best sushi i’ve ever had”

Michael Audet, Daily Editor
Once I met Amber Benson, who plays Tara in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I got really overwhelmed and I accidentally told her that I was a lesbian”
“When I was a kid, I thought that when children were born, they were the size of a pea and that the law required that they be hidden from sight until they got baby-size. In this bizarro dystopia, purses were invented to hide the child until it got baby sized.”

Reilly Wieland, Daily Editor
I used to think my parents were in an arranged marriage?”
“I thought cheez-it’s were just baked cheese slices”

Have fun at Sendoff!

One response

  1. Mia – Your excellent aim was noted. But it was a little much to play the rim of the wastebasket like a glass harmonium after.

    Jane – I am disappointed that you didn’t give a DKE a black eye.

    Cat – That’s some kind of Trifecta of Liquids Expressed Under Pressure! Can projectile diarrhea be in your near future?

    Colleen – I worked at a convent and your theory checks out. Their legs are attached directly to their armpits.

    Annie – You have to kiss with your eyes open to make sure they don’t revert to their true hideous form every time you come in for a kiss. That’s just common sense.

    Sarah – Was your 6th grade Valentine’s Gift sushi from Kroger? Which, incidentally, is not the best. But you’ve probably never had Spam Sushi in Oahu.

    Michael – There’s no shame in babbling in front of a a Buffy cast-member! It’s to be expected. We’re only mortal. Mortal little peas that our mothers carried in their alligator skin clutch purses.

    Reilly – Your parents weren’t in an arranged marriage! That’s silly. You were adopted though.

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