10 o’clock list: How to Say “Farewell” to your Graduating Friends Without Seeming Like a Crybaby


It’s the end of another year here at Kenyon College. Sendoff is over, finals are coming, and I’ve decided my pit stains are a fashion statement. And while I think all of us are eager to finish up the year, it also means that we have to say goodbye to any of the graduating seniors we’ve made friends with these past one to three years. Luckily, the Thrill has some hot tips on how to send them off without being a total wimp about it.

  1. Give them your baby teeth. It says, “I trust you to do with these what you wish” without getting all touchy-feely about it.
  2. Make them a mix-tape and all the songs are “So Long, Farewell” from The Sound of Music
  3. Stand on a New Side table and recite “O Captain, My Captain.”
  4. Make an identical doll-model of your friend and go to the VI with them.
  5. If you’re not a junior yet, go abroad your junior spring and you can avoid the whole thing
  6. Burn your bridges. You can’t say bye if they hate you now.

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