The Monday Catchup


Dear class of 2022,

Wow! Congratulations! You studied. You applied. Kenyon swiped right on you and you swiped right back. You could afford to pay full price, had an SAT tutor, and are white — Super Like. I’ll just call you Cool Mint because you are too Juul for school. But, who really cares. You’re in the club now. Your K-card photo is still reflective of how you look in real life (just give it some time), and yeah, you DO know who pinegrove is, but their new stuff is garbage. How was your weekend?

“Dude I ran out of pods.”

“Controversial opinion: I think the mods are ok.”

“I can’t wait to go back and get tots.”

Thumbs up, Class of 2022. Hope you come to love my bad advice for, and genuine apathy towards all of you. I’m a cool girl and don’t you forget it ;)

What:  Kenyon College Women’s Soccer vs Adrian College

  • Get ripped for this full body, high intensity, powerhouse of a game. Watch the KENYON COLLEGE LADIES stomp their cleats, rip their shirts, and yell with the force of the Alpine winds. Get bodied.

When: Tuesday, September 4 at 5:00pm to 7:00pm

Where: Mavec Field for the pre-game, Mather for the party, A dark corner of Mod B for the after party


What: Zeta Highlighter Party

  • Uhh I don’t know what else you want. I think this is happening?

When: Friday or Saturday mayeb this week but literally any other time is possible too.

Where: I mean the basement of Old K but likely could be anywhere else.


Share your thoughts on this post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: