These quotes have been collected from professors in various areas of study, by a variety of Thrill contributors:

[after a class vote] “Yeah alright guys, democracy sort of works, yeah?”

“Paul from the Bible is a lot like Mary Poppins. See? Haha. I got a PhD to say that.”

“I don’t care if you like it! You’re not supposed to like it! This isn’t Baskin-Robbins, 31 Flavors time!”

“‘Cool’ is not a technical term”

“I fell through my attic this weekend no biggie.”

“I don’t like people but love you guys!”

[literally sings the first two verses and a chorus of Joni Mitchell’s “A Case of You” beautifully] “Was that okay? Sorry about that.”

“God was a socialist.”

“My birthday is in April, and my partner is Jewish, so sometimes he’ll tell me that my birthday dinner is also going to be a Passover Seder, which is one of the worst things you can ever hear.”

“Durkheim? Probably a nerd.”

“I walked into my intro class and told them ‘everyone in this room will be dead in 70 years’. ”

“Is that enough for today?” [said every day after running 6 minutes over]

“Can we solve all of our problems at Kenyon by using ESP? Who’s to say?”

[after half the class recites the opening lines of The Great Gatsby after being asked if anyone remembers them] “So, what, was that all your haftorah portion or something?”

“I’m easy, but not cheap.”