10 O’Clock List: Next Buildings to get Unneeded, Unasked For Renovations

wiggin ren

So over the summer our beloved Wiggin Street Coffee got a face lift, which no one actually asked for. It kind of seems like, what with the new bookstore and the entirely new English building, our favorite coffee spot decided that it, too, wanted some changes. And that’s, you know, that’s fine I guess. I don’t mind the sort of weird new layout, actually. It’s neither here nor there, this isn’t an op-ed piece, it’s a 10 o’clock list. There’s a structure here.

Anyway, here’s my running bet on which the next buildings will be to get a completely arbitrary and not at all necessary makeover in the coming year.

  1. The Market: Sure, the market is already pretty new, but in this modern age is new ever new enough? The answer is no, if you ask Kenyon (which you didn’t, no one did, yet here we are.) The market is going to get those moving floor things that airports have to try and avoid those awkward run-ins when people are walking in opposite directions in front of the frozen food section. Thank god, honestly.
  2. Finn House: A lot of writer types live(?) here, and K-Town loves their writers, so I figure this place could be slated for a surprise renovation. Finn is going to get a stable out front, for horses and mopeds and whatever. That’s the shit writers like.
  3. The KAC: The Kenyon Athletic Center is great and big, but it could always use a second, smaller KAC to go next to it. Attached directly to the pool, KAC 2, as I’ve decided it will be called, could have, like, a mini-golf course in it or something. Or a hot tub that doesn’t routinely fill with staph infection.
  4. Peirce Dining Hall: Slides!
  5. Mod C: I actually haven’t been in Mod C yet but I have to assume there’s something shitty about it that could use fixing, so. That’s that I suppose.
  6. All of the NCAs: Yep, every single one. Each NCA will get a small cupboard into which students can whisper their secrets and their woes and know that someone, somewhere, will be listening. Also, new shower curtains.

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