It’s Saturday night. You’re two beers and one jell-o shot deep at a friend’s party. Why did you take that jell-o shot? Well it’s over now, and you’re feeling buzzed. Maybe you’re even feeling tipsy. Perfect. The party hosts are playing the BEST song (for the record that song is Tipsy – Club Mix by J-Kwon). Channeling the jell-o you bounce back and forth, making the rounds. Then you spot that one guy. You know who I’m talking about. He’s the guy you see sometimes in line at Fusion. Yeah. That one. You tell yourself to play it cool and keep chatting up your friends. He is probably into that freshman girl anyway. The one who posts a ton of bikini pics. Yeah. That one. Wait, he’s walking towards you. Yes? No? Yes. He locks eyes and grabs your hand to dance. How long did you dance? It could have been 10 seconds. It could have been an hour. You talk about class and life and each other all the while you are sure he can smell jell-o on your breath. Why did you take that jell-o shot? Just when you think he’s about to leave, he leans in. His lips travel to your ear and he whispers, in a voice barely audible above the Club Mix of Tipsy by J-Kwon, “how was your weekend?”

It’s the Monday Catchup.

“I got catfished. After that I got a Wiggins Mocha.”

“I broke a hookup curse!”

“I cursed a hookup who broke me.”

Someone has to explain to me why jell-o and shots have mated and produced such an ugly child. I’ll never understand. Here’s to this week!

What: Rocky Horror Picture Show

• The Kenyon College Players invite you to a ONE NIGHT ONLY shadow-cast performance of “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”
• Is starring in the film version of Rocky Horror like the most important thing Meat Loaf did as a performer? Or is “I’d do anything for love (but I won’t do that)” his largest achievement? Frankly I think it’s the latter, but I’m kinda torn.
• Do you even know who Meat Loaf is?
• You don’t?
• Oh. Uhhhh.
• Ok.

When: Friday, November 2 at 10:15pm to 12:15am

Where: Rosse then first floor mather for the cast party.

What:  Our Path Forward: Open Q&A Session

• Features President Decatur and VP of Advancement Colleen Garland answering your questions on the $300 million comprehensive campaign
• Someone better explain why the $300 million isn’t going towards giving the CAs on this campus a damn raise.

When: Tuesday, October 30th at 6PM

Where: Peirce Lounge