Image credit: “How Computers Misunderstand the World” The Verge

Last weekend, our writer Tyler Raso put dozens of Thrill headlines into a bot, and then forced the bot, against its and our will, to generate content for us. Every day this week, one article on the site will be one of the prompts the bot generated. These are our stories.

It’s been a weird week here at the Thrill. Always on some cutting edge, this week we’ve decided to delve headfirst into the Future™ that AI and machine learning have for us. One day, I’m assured by professors, targeted ads on Instagram, and Google’s AlphaGo, machines will be so efficient at doing everything, they’ll even be able to think for me! Thank GOD. Just as predicted, they’ve thought of some Thrill ideas for this week, and let me tell you, I sure am nervous.

Here’s a few prompts the bot came up with that we wanted to write, but just couldn’t match the bot’s intelligence:

1. Where to Get Unneeded Experiences– I wanted to just post a picture of the Bolton Theater or the Horn or something. One of my editors however said that this could work for anything on campus, including this campus.
2. Look at this Hardship– This, I think, also fits anything on this campus. But, does it really?
3. Coffee: the New Library– Am I right guys?
4. Anonymous Student Wants a Wet Face– It would’ve been hard to show a wet face and keep the student anonymous.
5. It Happened to Me: I Forced Kenyon Pets to Prove the Void- While true, I simply couldn’t find any pets that were willing to interview about this on such short notice.
6. First Years React: Best Holes in the Netherworld– We give our first years enough. 
7. List: Ways– Mhm.
8. The Thrill Interviews a Morphsuit– The morphsuit refused to comment.