One time, in half-hearted jest, my dad joked that I decided my academic interests by sorting a list of degrees ranked by earning potential from low to high. He’s not really wrong– I am a generally okay person but also generally impractical. I want to study gender and books and culture and don’t want to get a job or pay bills or be responsible.
I know in my heart of hearts what I would be studying if the weight of the world was not on me– but in coming to college, I wanted to prove to everybody that I was a capable adult who made good decisions for herself. So, my senior in high school self set my sights on being an English and Economics double major when I got to this hallowed hill. It’s like– what if I am not only one type of unrelatable snob, but another type of unrelatable snob but also problematic at best?
I got to Kenyon and boldly signed up for Microeconomics my first semester and realized that I was actively bad at graphs, just like my college counselor told me when she said I was not going to do well on the ACT because it is the SAT with graphs.
It didn’t go well. I was bad at it and the boys in the class really got it. I was crushed. Wow was I ever going to be both woke and an employee of Goldman Sachs! After a short tailspin, I got myself together and found my way over to American Studies so I can be an unrelatable snob with a vast knowledge of the homeland.
In my quest to American Studies, I considered some other majors. Here are a few suggestions to other Economics majors who have become disenchanted:
- French – the French hate capitalism (this is an oversimplification but whatever)
- George Saunders references – be the most insufferable at a dinner party
- Responding “in this economy?” when asked to do anything
- Wall Studies – not to be confused with Border Studies
- Old Side-New Side Relations
- Vampire weekend lyrics you liked in high school that make more sense now that you live learn and love in this ivory tower of an institution
- Advanced Funk Studies – Grove is in the heart
- Hot Takes Studies – Sociology was Founded on False Presumptions
- Corn – we have a class for you