courtesy of 123RF images

When it comes to distribution requirements, Kenyon students talk about the dreaded “QR.” For me, it has been the opposite: the dreaded “Fine Arts” requirement. After agonizing over voice lessons or piano, art history or drawing, I settled on Sculpture I. Why I decided on this, I don’t know. I am decent at drawing, but in high school, my geometry teacher told me I was “spatially r*tarded.” So naturally, I decided to sign up for a class based on making shapes in 3D look like things.

Surrounded by art majors and minors, I was given my first assignment: make a cardboard model of yourself. Two-second degree burns from hot glue and about ten hours later, I got this over the course of a week:

In the words of my boyfriend, “if you were a cardboard monster, you would look like that.” I initially laughed off the comments of my friends, telling them I threw something together at the last minute, my hands stinging with blisters. I had a nightmare that night and woke up to my grotesque cardboard prototype staring at me with its eyeless, flat face from across my room. I actually had to turn it so it was facing against the wall before I could return to my restless slumber.

I don’t know how my future projects will turn out. Maybe I will come out a brilliant, mediocre, or a slightly less bad sculptor. Or maybe I will not improve at all and turn my future failures into a new feature for The Thrill called “Look at this Terrible Art.” Only time will tell.