How to Tell When Your Professor Thinks You’re the Absolute Worst and What to Do About It

How to Tell When Your Professor Thinks You’re the Absolute Worst and What to Do About It

We’ve all been there.  It’s the end of the semester and suddenly you think, “what if my professor thinks I’m the worst?” And sometimes you were right and you were the worst and your professor 100% knew it. And other times maybe you just gave off bad vibes but really weren’t that much of an asshole but they just didn’t see past the bad vibes. However it happened, to avoid this situation and to prevent this from happening ever again, I recommend a two-pronged approach during the semester.

Prong 1: Spot the Symptoms.

If you notice these then you should probably make some changes. Here are some signs that your professor thinks you’re the worst:

  • They get up in the middle of your office hours to “get a pack of cigarettes” and never come back.
  • Every time you speak in class they sigh and says “well, technically that’s true, but…” or “yes, but that’s not really what I’m looking for…” or “what’s your reasoning behind that?”
  • You text them at 2am saying “You up?” and they don’t respond.
  • You ask your professor to apply suntan lotion to your lower back, the part that you can’t get to no matter how hard you try, and they refuse.

Prong 2: Get them to like you.

Here are some foolproof ways to get your professor to like you again:

  • Play hard to get with your work. Maybe you’ll hand it in, maybe you won’t. Who’s to say?
  • Make them jealous. Go to the professor’s office hours right next door when you know your professor will be in. Have a loud thoughtful and stimulating discussion with the door open. You’ll have them wrapped around your finger.
  • Get stuck in the elevator with them. Get into an elevator at the same time as your professor. Manufacture an electrical problem that causes the elevator to get stuck in between floors.  The rest is all you. Charm them.
  • Buy them a dog. Preferably a puppy, everyone likes a puppy (except serial killers and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson) Unless they are allergic to dogs. In that case buy them a fish.

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