Peirce Hacks: Face Masks

IMG_7995We, Jane Lindstrom and Ellie Melick, are many things. But most of all, we are beauty influencers. We’re  always on the hunt for the Next Big Serum to fix our acne* and our lives. Did we find what we were looking for in Pierce? Keep reading, and decide for yourself.

*Jane wants to point out that she doesn’t get acne but SOME of us do, okay?


My ingredients:

  • Blueberry yogurt
  • Maple granola
  • 2 bananas (mashed)
  • Cucumbers (pulverized)
  • Honey
  • Sugar
  • Cucumber slices, to garnish

Have you ever imagined diving naked into a swimming pool of extra virgin olive oil? I have. In this rough Ohio winter, I imagine that a lot. My skin often feels like Spongebob in that episode where he gets really dehydrated, so I wanted my face mask to be deeply, soul-penetratingly moisturizing. I figured the creamy bananas and blueberry yogurt would do the trick. And as bonus, blueberries are famously rich in antioxidants. Some may even call them superfoods. (I would. I would call them superfoods.)

img_7944.jpgI’m a Cancer rising, so my skin is very sensitive, and I was a little worried a Peirce-based skincare routine would give me an allergic reaction. I put a lot of faith in the cucumbers, as I’ve had many cucumbers on my face before and have never gotten a rash. Honey has detoxifying properties, I’m pretty sure, so I lathered my mask in the golden glaze. I also added granola, but it didn’t really do anything and it felt funny on my face.

I applied the mask with a Peirce spoon, and my own 10 fingers. It went on smooth, apart from the chunks of granola, and honestly? It felt great. It was very silky, again apart from the chunks of granola, and I definitely felt the cooling agents of the cucumber. When I rinsed the mask off (unrelated: I just remembered my senior prom’s theme was “masks off”????), my skin was left feeling smooth, refreshed, and rejuvenated. I felt 10 years younger. Rosacea? Gone. Eczema? I don’t know her. I’m tossing all my topical allergy medications, and the next time I break out in hives, I’m hitting up the servery.


My ingredients:

  • Butter
  • Cream Cheese
  • Honey
  • Sugar in the Raw
  • Banana
  • Crushed Dino Bites
  • Crushed Tutti Frutti

So here’s the deal. My skin is like the only true genetic blessing I have received. I’m serious, like this is not meant to be a humble brag, but I never have breakouts. Every once in a while I’ll get like a tiny pimple on my nose and I just do not know how to handle it. And my friends all hate me for it. But, because of this, I generally don’t mess around with my skin beyond just water and very mild moisturizer. Why fix it if it ain’t broke? But sometimes I like to use face masks in a social setting. Like when I’m with my sweet friend Mollie Greenberg and she says, “let’s do face masks!” I obviously say yes because friendship is precious!

Alas. So here we are. Making face masks in Peirce. I went down a route that I thought would be okay which actually turned out to be hellish. I knew I wanted to go for a moisturizing sugar scrub sort of deal. So I started with the basic concept of Dino Bites and, like, honey and sugar. But I knew I needed somebody in this concoction, which is where my greatest mistake came in. I just sort of panicked and got BOTH butter and cream cheese. Then I panicked even more and grabbed a banana. I had no mental control over what choices I made. I moved through the servery with wild abandon and grabbed whichever ingredients spoke to me in that moment. What resulted was a mask that resembled a young child’s vomit.


Applying the mask was truly the worst experience of my life. I viscerally remember the feeling of my fingertips first hitting the lumpy, sticky texture of the goop. My fight or flight instincts have never kicked in so intensely as they did in that moment. I am someone who typically rejects the concept of shame and would put myself through just about anything for some laughs. But when I grabbed that first lump of vom (sorry, mask) I cried out, “I CAN’T DO THIS!” But alas, with the support of my fellow writers, Ellie and Reilly, I pushed through and applied the lumps all over my cheeks, chin, and nose. The passerby in the Peirce bathroom looked on in pity. I felt my pores absorb the butter. I could smell the vile aroma of cream cheese. The dino bites did essentially no exfoliating work. As soon as the photos were taken, I dove into the sink to be born again. It took. so. many. washes. To get that oily feeling off my face. I could still smell the cream cheese for hours after.

img_7967.jpgNow this is the part of this article I’m dreading to write. When I woke up the next morning, my face felt incredibly soft and smooth. Not only had I returned to my natural face scent, but my skin felt, well, buttery. And not in a gross way. I have no desire to admit that this experience did something positive for me. But here at the Thrill we report the hard, cold facts. And my Peirce face mask had actual benefits. And that’s what you missed on Glee.

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