These quotes have been collected from professors in various areas of study, by a variety of Thrill contributors.

“Trauma is Jeremy Bearimy”

“Men are crime”

“Don’t come to me saying shit’s on fire, yo”

*accepts an essay two weeks late*

“What do you call it these days? We used to call it necking, is it ‘hooking up’ now?” (Everyone got nervous and silent, so I think she still doesn’t know the answer to the question :/ )

“I used to be a punk rocker”

“No, no, not butt–ass”

“I’m Marla Kohlman, I can do whatever I want” (I firmly believe she’d be okay with being named in this)

“I wrote you this whole email but I forgot to send it. So. Just getting old, I guess.”

(After, literally, a fifteen minute tangent) “Why did I tell you all that? Really, why?”

“I should start tripping students again”

*Decides to call me “Marvin” for an entire class period*

“What exactly is the duck face? And why don’t people do it anymore?”

“Go away.”