10 o’clock list: Cool Ways to get a UTI at Kenyon

mmmm delicious crispy water mm

Emphasis on the cool.

  1. Walking into Hanna: uh
  2. Looking at the af1s that were left outside of Old K after WKCO Fest for too long: if you spent too much time questioning why they were there, it’s too late.
  3. Drinking from the water fountain outside the New Apts laundry prison: you should never drink from a water fountain that looks like it peed itself, especially if it has a kinky little chain around it. The New Apts are enough of a lawless wasteland without this frightening fountain.
  4. Being too close to an NCA that has more than 1 piece of furniture outside: Please please please put it back inside.
  5. Drinking beer garden beers outside any apartment out of desperation (or touching the flat liquid that is no-longer-beer): maybe this is how we all get mono 
  6. Dancing on an elevated surface at lax house: your options are to stand on a couch and fall down or to stand on an inevitably grimy beer pong table.  Rock and a hard place.
  7. Wrestling your friends in the mud pit: hit Kenyon’s brand new mud themed amusement park, coming Summer 2019! (see picture below)
  8. Using the crumbly yoga mats at the KAC: they just make my hands feel incorrect.
  9. Slipping, falling down, and ultimately sitting in the Ganter Grease™: nothing like that glistening, soggy checkerboard floor. It hides so many secrets.
  10. Accidentally touching the wall sweat at an all campus: I know we don’t really have all campus parties anymore. But tell me you don’t relish in memories of the freakishly cold, sweaty, stucco-textured, cement block walls of Old K.
this: the only picture i have of the mud pit. lmk if u like that my hair is the same color as the scary mud!


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