Look, I’m not stupid. I just feel like I am only getting dumber with every passing day. I don’t know if it’s the ultimately crushing feeling I get when a possible employer asks me why I didn’t study marketing, or if it’s my inability to just sit down and write a paper like I used to– but it’s something.

As internship season creeps closer and closer with every passing day, I have been thinking about what my “special skills” are. What do I bring to the table that another candidate does not? And to that point– maybe some employers don’t think that my skills and offerings aren’t “relevant” or even “appropriate”, but I do.

Here are some of them:

1. Strong written and verbal skills
2. An in-depth knowledge of contemporary media
3. Feet that would probably be considered “ugly”
4. 5 years of written work that will ultimately could be a liability for me if I am ever in any public position
5. All of my baby teeth
6. Excellent interpersonal abilities
7. Enough blood in my body to fill a gallon milk jug
8. Deep Catholic guilt
9. A working knowledge of Photoshop
10. A cheese stick in my pocket
11. An inexplicable ability to ask men who are my equals “if this works for them”
12. A purse with at least three (3) debit cards I lost but then found after I ordered a new one
13. 12 dollars on my K Card
14. An ability to shotgun a beer even though gluten makes me feel bad
15. Crazy eyes
16. General literacy
17. A car full of trash
18. A cat who really does love me
19. The courtesy to cry in the bathroom
20. A can-do attitude and a strong work ethic

please hire me to be your intern!