Why, oh why, you might ask? The short answer, I’m a devoted environmentalist. The long answer…

I was walking down Middle Path, minding my own business, when I passed the Gates of Hell and noticed some litter. Being the good environmentalist I am, I proudly plucked this bright blue waste from the earth, bringing it to its proper container a mere three feet away. But I noticed something, walking those three feet. Something was wrong. 

The waste I pinched between my fingers sagged, the latex worn down by some material force. Upon discarding the atrocity, I realized my mistake, extending my hand and keeping it as far away from my person as possible. So, yeah. I picked up a bright blue used condom from the Gates of Hell during finals week in the name of environmentalism. And I, gents, did not use protection.