The Thrill Editors flex our rhyming muscles to bring you these, inspired by our endless love and respect for Kenyon College!
There once was a first year in Quest,
Who declared that Nietzsche was best.
But his will to power
Lasted less than an hour
While I thought, “Dear God, I’m depressed.”
There once was a parlor called Whits
Whose treats I’ve been told are the tits
But the walk is too far
I can not drive a car
And milk products give me the shits
There once was a library called Olin
Then out of our grasp it was stolen
By our millionaire donor
With his glass-induced boner
To Graham Gund we’re forever beholden.
There was a black kitten named Moxie
With fans from Japan to Biloxi
But the memes felt old
With merch being sold
So the Thrill Staff fed him to a foxy
They told us Chilitos would open
Which of course was a horrible omen.
It’ll be 20 years
Before word reaches ears
That it was a falsified notion.