Get ready, because we’re back again with the next long-awaited edition of Kenyon Doppelgangers, the classic Thrill feature where we profile two students with uncanny similarities for your viewing pleasure. I’m sure you’ve all seen our first student, Krane, ’22, hanging around Rosse and sometimes swinging by the Gund Gallery, but our second subject is a bit of a mystery.
While Crane, ’23, is not technically a Kenyon student (he’s currently in his first year at Mount Vernon Nazarene University), the resemblance between the two is too eerie not to investigate. Students passing through Mount Vernon have reported screeching to a halt when catching a glance of Crane busy at work. Some have even trekked into town just verify for themselves that these two are actually separate people and not just one superfan of Happy Bean.
From behind, the similarities are obvious––both Krane and Crane sport distinctive metallic coats, closely cropped buzzcuts, and an unnatural ability to contort their bodies in perfect 45º angles at will. Even I was confused when approaching them for our meeting at the Olin Pit, Krane’s preferred hangout. Both students were hunched over, peering into the piles of dirt. “Crane dropped his Airpods,” explained Krane as the pair slowly unbent their spines and pivoted towards me in perfect unison. We chatted about music for a bit, learning that both are big fans of SOPHIE due to her distinctive clangs and screeches, which Crane was able to mimic with perfect pitch.
Aside from taste in music, the two also share German ancestry, social smoking habits, and a love of dogs. Said Krane, “I’ve just never really been a Moxie person. Maybe it’s ’cause it never wants to hop on my back,” which at this point was twisted into a crude semicircle, “but mostly it’s that whenever I see it, I just remember that gnarly squirrel eating video. I would go to counseling, but…” Crane agreed, remarking that news of the grisly murder had already spread to MVNU. “I saw the blood and everything. I haven’t been able to look at a cat since.”
At this point in our interview, Krane and Crane began hoisting large metal beams into the air and swinging them over to the opposite edge of the pit. “The work never really stops,” shrugged Krane. “Plus, I’m already, like, two months behind in my Library Studies class.” Crane was similarly focused, paying close attention to the older student’s technique. “It’s cool to have someone so close who’s into the exact same things as you, you know? Maybe one day we can collaborate on a shed or something.”
I walked away down Middle Path, leaving the duo to continue lifting steel and chat about the merits of H-profile versus I-profile beams. I guess we can all learn a lesson about how, although schools and location may divide us, a shared love of laying pipes can blossom into a beautiful friendship.