On Friday, September 27, The Atlantic published an article called “The Cat With a Campus Wrapped Around Its Paw.” Amazingly, it was an eight hundred word piece in a national newspaper that someone got paid to write…about Moxie, the cat. I would like to take a moment on this blog, just slightly less disseminated than The Atlantic, to provide an alternative perspective: it’s a fucking cat.
The Atlantic article was written by a journalist named Alia Wong. So far as I can tell, Wong has no real connection to Kenyon: she seems to just, like, write about higher education. She describes how she first heard of Moxie when she “mentioned her fascination with animals on campus” at a dinner “with higher-education leaders” that President Sean Decatur was attending. “[H]is face lit up immediately. The cat, he suggested, is the perfect complement to Kenyon’s ESA program.”
First off, it’s deeply dystopian that the president of a college can literally admit that a campus former-stray is doing the heavy lifting on our ESA program, one of the only actual mental health programs at Kenyon, and have that be framed as a feel-good cute cat story. And second: what makes Moxie special? The article even takes the time to mention how we have multiple campus cats. I’ll admit that I never understood the Moxie hype, but I refuse to “let people enjoy things” or whatever because Moxie and Moxie Culture is deeply, deeply annoying.
“Moxie regularly jumps up onto the backpacks of passing humans, traversing campus on his two-legged chariors,” Wong writes. Moxie has never jumped up onto my back, to which I can say: thank fucking christ. But still, it sounds to me that Moxie sounds like he needs to potentially mind his own business and maybe quit expecting to be catered to? You know, pull himself up by the bootstraps and do something for himself for a change?
Moxie is also a killer. Moxie has killed squirrels and who knows what else? Humans? The Thrill can neither confirm nor deny these rumors. Absolutely disgusting.
The next time you want to carry a cat on your back, or buy Moxie merch, or get paid some sum of money to write about Moxie for a national publication instead of the real news, take a second and think about the kind of creature you’re supporting, and realize that Moxie is annoying and it’s time for us to get obsessed about something different. And no, it can’t be “cranes” again.
The Kenyon Thrill 
Moxie is 100% over-rated and anyone who makes merch that claims Moxie is some sort of king of Kenyon needs to re-evaluate their choices.
Moxie is sweet and we should stop making fun of people for liking what they like! Being super into Moxie is not hurting anyone–just let people have fun and enjoy Moxie and Moxie culture, even if you find it annoying. I agree it’s absurd to discuss Moxie as a campus wide ESA considering the state of mental health resources on campus, but like there’s nothing else about that cat that’s actively causing you inconvenience (unless you’re allergic in which case just avoid him).
Or how about we let people enjoy Moxie and mind our own business. Moxie isn’t your thing? fine, then don’t interact with him. You can choose not to read things about Moxie and you can chose to avoid him if you see him on campus. I find it sad that the author of this post allows themselves to be bothered by a “fucking cat”. I happen to think Moxie is a special cat. He always seems to know when someone is feeling down and needs a little love. Yes he also expects you to do his bidding…that’s pretty much all cats. Bottom line: This is why we can’t have nice things. If you are so annoyed by people liking a cat that you have to write a blog post about it, you live a pretty charmed life.
thank you for standing up for what is right
To any folks engaging in actual discourse in this comment section: I shouldn’t have to say this on a comedy blog but: it’s jokes.
Yes I am aware that I screwed up my colon usage please don’t draw attention to it.
Or how about we let people hate Moxie and mind our own business. Moxie is your thing? fine, then interact with him. You can choose to read things about Moxie and you can chose to interact him if you see him on campus. I find it sad that the author of that article allows themselves to feel some semblance of emotional warmth over a “fucking cat”. I happen to think Moxie isn’t a special cat. He always seems to know when someone is feeling down and needs a quick bite or scratch. He also expects you to do his bidding…the piece of shit. Bottom line: This is why we can’t have nice things. If you are so annoyed by people hating a cat that you have to write a blog post about it, you live a pretty charmed life.
– Ben Neal
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