A Playlist For People Who Are Insecure About Their Music Taste

Hey, you! Tell me if this describes a situation you’ve ever been in. You’re at someone’s room jamming to some tunes, grooving to the rhythm, and suddenly catastrophe strikes: the phone which was making said music dies. It could happen at any time. And what do you do? You just sit there sheepishly, not willing to subject your personal music library to the judgement of your peers. It’s fine, there’s no need for music. You can just sit here in silence. That will be fine for sure. 

It won’t be fine. But fear no longer! I have the perfect playlist for any situation, be it pregame or postgame, all-campus or “just a small thing with a couple of friends–yeah of course you can bring Brian–just trying to cap it at like five or six people.” Next time the aux cord is offered, you’ll have just the right vibes to get funky and feel that sweet, sweet wave of social approval cleanse your mind and soul.

  1. “Mr Brightside” by The Killers – Coming out of the cage strong with a classic. This bad boy is sure stop conversation for a least a minute while people lip sync to the opening verse, but it won’t hold anyone’s attention long enough to give your shindig too much of a dancing vibe.
  2. “Party in the U.S.A.” by Miley Cyrus – Now, this one won’t necessarily resonate with everyone. But don’t worry, the horse girls who it does resonate with will pick up all the slack. It hits hard in the nostalgia department, which means less focus on your song selection and more focus on traumatic, middle school memories.
  3. “Take On Me” by a-ha – That synth comes in and everyone loses their mind. The chorus? Everyone’s in falsetto. Can you hit that high E? Who knows, but you’re sure as hell going to try.
  4. Any Song by Queen – You have class, you’re sophisticated. How better to demonstrate that than by playing a smash hit by the two-time Grammy Hall of Fame inductee Queen? Freddy Mercury is an icon, and we honor his legacy by absolutely butchering covers of his greatest hits. It’s tradition, respect it.
  5. “Yeah!” by Usher feat. Lil Jon and Ludacris – Remember this one? Right? This song is lodged so deep in our collective unconscious that I had to pry it out of my own head with a crowbar. Sure to be a smashing success at any gathering.
  6. “I Gotta Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas –  Naturally.

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