The Mission: Try all of the flavors of margaritas at Chilitos

The Flavors: Lime (original), Strawberry, Raspberry, Peach, Mango, Blueberry

The Judges: Colleen Kemp ‘20 Editor-in-Chief (CK), Kylie Lohrenz ‘20 Daily Editor (KL), Jane Zisman ‘20 Executive Editor (JZ), Lillian Fox Peckos ‘20 Executive Editor (LFP), Sarah Hoffmann ‘20 Editor Emeritus (SH)

*Let it be known that we are all 21+ because the Thrill is not above the law*

What We Know: 4.5 bottles of tequila are in each batch, we do not know how many margs there are in a batch. The batch was in a plastic tub under the bar. Margaritas are $5 on Wednesdays. We love the bartenders, tip them well!

LFP: “Are we including biases in this review?” 

JZ: “Drinker’s choice.”

LIME:

SH: “I’m not gonna like this because I do not like tequila taste and I’m a baby”

~takes sip~

“Let the record show that I did smirk a little bit.” 

CK: “To contrast that, I DO like the tequila taste.”

SH: “Well some of us went abroad to Spain and some of us did not.”

LFP: “Tequila isn’t from Spain!”

KL: “I’m scared about brain freeze and also I had a bad experience with tequila on my 21st.”

SH: “Very recently I discovered that taking little sips of lime juice is delicious.”

JZ: “You have little bottles of lime juice?”

KL: “This doesn’t taste like lime juice though, this tastes like limeade”

SH: “Yeah! Fake, market lime juice. I’m into it.”

Lime Conclusions: Puckery, refreshing, less sugary and more tequila-y, Sarah sips on lime juice in her spare time, Kylie is not a fan because she’s from Texas and knows better.

STRAWBERRY:

LFP: “I have a strong childhood memory of always ordering virgin strawberry margaritas.”

JZ: “So this is going to remind you of childhood?”

~takes sip~

LFP: “It does remind me of childhood, but I could go with more strawberry flavor.”

SH: “I want this to remind me of the lemonade you get at fairs.”

CK: “I’m not expecting to like this because of the seeds and everything.”

LFP: “So you’re anti-seed?”

CK: “Yeah.”

JZ: “Agreed, I’m anti-pulp.”

LFP: “You’re anti-pulp?!”

JZ: “YOU’RE PRO PULP?!”

KL: “You know what the salt tastes like? Did you ever get that sour salt at gas stations as a kid?”

JZ: “Sour salt?”

KL: “Yeah it’s called duck salt, it’s only sold at Sam’s Club”

Strawberry Conclusions: Not the best of the pink drink options, minimal strawberry flavor but still gets the job done. Kylie is a premium Sam’s Club member. We have not come to a consensus about the pulp vs. no pulp argument (stay tuned for a blog off).

MANGO:

LFP: “My expectation is that it’s gonna taste like pina colada”

ALL: “But it’s mango…”

KL: “I have to work on a bibliography after this.”

LFP: “It tastes like an alcoholic hi-chew.”

CK: “That sounds like a good review.”

KL: “You know what’s a flaw in our system right now? We have no palette cleanser.”

JZ: “We need milk. Lillian run to the market.”

SH: “Just like suck your straw a little bit.”

CK: “Sweet, sweet plastic.”

Mango Conclusions: tastes the least like tequila, mango-y after taste, cohesive flavor, hi-chew like, sugary, similar to a smoothie they sell at Wiggin, prettiest color, we downed that bad boy.

BLUEBERRY:

CK: “Blueberry is a little rarer than the other flavors”

JZ: “I’m very glad that it is not blue”

SH: “Like car fluid blue? That would have been kinda fun.”

LFP: “No stanky alcohol taste.”

SH: “Tastes like actual blueberry!”

CK: “It tastes like a smoothie.”

LFP:  “This is like a fuckin’ acai bowl. This is the closest thing this campus has to an acai bowl.”

SH: “For the record, Lillian just power posed.”

Blueberry Conclusions: good level of chunky, very hospitable, smooth, acai vibes, may inspire a power pose.

RASPBERRY:

LFP: “I can’t identify a flavor.”

KL: “Describe the color.”

LFP: “It’s a lovely color.”

CK: “If you were going to have a baby shower, this is the color.”

SH: “This is gender reveal pink.”

LFP: “The blueberry was gender ambiguous.” 

JZ: “The blueberry is the most woke.”

SH: “This doesn’t taste like anything.”

Raspberry conclusions: good for gender reveal parties, similar to strawberry in that it lacks intense flavor but still sweet and girly. We’re girls.

PEACH:

LFP: “I kinda like this but it’s also maybe bad punch.”

JZ: “From a scale of Dole peach cup to fresh, good peach plucked from Georgia what would you give it?”

LFP: “Very Dole.”

SH: “Call me by Your Name. How fuckable is each margarita? Wait, can I be gross? This kinda looks like vomit, it’s the chunks and the opacity.”

KL: “I kinda like when the chunks get stuck in the straw and you have to put some work into it. This also tastes like a first-year pregame.”

Peach Conclusions: We want to strain it a little, artificial, tastes like the peach aloe drink you buy in a bodega, visually not our fave.

FINAL RANKING: (Best to Worst) 

1. Blueberry
2. Mango
3. Lime
4. Raspberry
5. Strawberry
6. Peach

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“This is the best work I’ve done all year.”

“We gotta down them.”

“We also have to do Where’s It At right now.”