Watches of Kenyon

When I arrived at Kenyon two months ago, I noticed a lot more people wore watches here than in high school. This made me start to wear my own watch daily, and now if I go a day without it, I glance at my empty wrist every five seconds (not that I would know– I can’t see what time it is). In particular, I noticed the wide array of watches Kenyon students wear. So here are a few, ranked from most to least practical.

  1. Normal Wristwatch. This one is a classic. If I see someone with one of these on, I know that, like me, they just want to be able to tell what time it is at any given moment. You may say these are outdated; you can just look at your phone to tell the time, and I would counter with: I don’t want to have to pull my phone out of my backpack to check the time, but ultimately get distracted by whatever notifications are popping up and then immediately forget why I turned on my phone in the first place. I’m sure my fellow classic watch-wearers can sympathize with this. Maybe I’m biased, but I’m giving the classic wristwatch a 10/10 for practicality.
  1. Digital Analog Watch: Oh hell yeah. This watch just screams badass. It says “Oh, you’re having computer troubles? Let me help.” These things are indestructible. Not only that, but it tells you the time in analog format, so you don’t have to waste any time thinking. You should always have at least one person in your friend group with a watch like this. They can tell you the date, they can probably fix your computer, and they can certainly interrupt class due to some random alarm going off from their watch. What is it for? They probably don’t even know. But it doesn’t matter. Because they have a digital analog watch. 9/10.
  1. Apple Watch: I had a teacher in high school who wore an Apple watch on one wrist and a Samsung watch on the other. And what for? You have a phone, don’t you? (She did). I don’t get the point of these. You’re just gonna get distracted again. You’re never going to know what time it is: the fundamental purpose of a watch. By definition, I wouldn’t even consider this a watch in the first place. I think Apple should have named it something else. This gets a 2/10 for practicality from me.
  1. Calculator Watch: Why do you have this? When are you spontaneously doing math? This watch doesn’t serve any functions for a math class you might be taking in college anyway. If you’re a math major, you shouldn’t have to use a calculator to do basic functions like adding and subtracting. And if you do, you might want to reconsider your choice in studies. 1/10 (10 percent! Did that without a calculator!)

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