Do you enjoy being in class while immersed in absolute darkness? Do you enjoy sacrificing evening work time in favor of sitting motionlessly for three hours as two students dominate discussion? Then this game is for you! If you’ve ever had the misfortune of taking a 7-10pm seminar, you’ll notice that certain buzzwords and behaviors become routine. Here are some that cause me psychic pain! Please do not try this at home (or in class).

Drink when you hear… 

• “Agency”
• “Jumping off that…”
• “Juxtaposition” or “Dichotomy”
• “Hegemony”

Drink when someone… 

• Restates what the previous person said, but worse
• Uses iMessage on their computer
• Goes to the bathroom for a suspicious amount of time
• Makes awkward eye contact with you
• Plays the devil’s advocate

Drink when the professor… 

• Asks a question, only to be met with dead silence
• Can’t get technology to work
• Sighs deeply

Finish your drink if… 

The automatic lights in the room shut off, as nobody has moved their bodies in three, painstaking hours, and you stare at each other in the darkness, contemplating the nearing reality of death.