Shit Professors Say, Vol. V

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These quotes have been collected from professors in various areas of study, by a variety of Thrill contributors. Click here for our previous installment.

*Glances at the clock* “I’m in despair.”

“We have lots of exciting things going on today! First of all, yes, I shaved half of my eyebrow. No, there’s no interesting story to go along with it.”

“I’m trying to figure out my existence in front of this work of art, and you guys are making out in front of it??”

*Someone’s Siri goes off on their phone* “The panopticon… it’s everywhere.”

“I think dick has a lot of really profound things to say.” (talking about Philip K. Dick, the author)

“Not to Title IX you or anything, but you have beautiful hands.”

“Billy Ray Cyrus was my neighbor. When I would come home from college Hannah Montana was a baby.”

“Do any of you smoke the wacky weed?”

“Who wants some Jesus?”

“Ah, spermatophore, that delicious secretion.”

*I come in with a new haircut* “Why does your hair look different?”

“I’m not sure that The Matrix really teaches you how to follow what you feel.”

“What are you eating, trail mix?” “Yeah.” “Foul.”

“I find Guy Fieri attractive.”

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