Greetings my fellow purple-clad Gambier residents and Kenyon enthusiasts! With the holiday season fast approaching, there is no doubt that you are wracking your brain wondering what gifts to give. Struggle no more, because I have singlehandedly designed some unique Kenyon merch that will satisfy even your pickiest family members. I’ve pitched these ideas to the bookstore, but it is my understanding that they aren’t ready for a line of products so niche and experimental. Too bad for them. Consequently, I’m advertising them exclusively on The Kenyon Thrill. I accept payments through cash, Venmo, compliments, hugs, or basically any sort of general validation. Here are my ideas. After you see them, I’m sure you’ll have no choice but to tell me I’m good.

• Cuddly Philander Chase plush dolls
• Class of 2023 shot glasses
• Kenyon-branded Tupperware (definitely NOT for stealing food from Peirce)
• Themed stickers for every individual WKCO show
• Signed copies of Liberal Arts starring Josh Radnor
• Unreasonably priced Supreme X Kenyon hoodies

PSA: In case you haven’t heard, The Thrill has merch! Look out for Colleen Kemp ’20 to snag some of our snazzy new stickers before they’re gone.