The truth is, Kenyon Time is fake. Kenyon Time doesn’t follow the rules of nature. So when you leave campus, time stops. If you find yourself sitting in Peirce, wondering how break went by so fast and how you could possibly be sitting back at a New Side rectangle ALREADY, it’s because that week didn’t exist. Your Kenyon World with its Kenyon Time got put on pause, so it feels like you’re picking up exactly where you left off, because YOU ARE. The fresh haircuts on the boys in your 10:10 are blips in the space-time continuum. When you ask me, “How was your weekend?” I think of the last two weekends spliced together, with a perfect seam on a Saturday evening in John Glenn Columbus International Airport. I know this all to be true because I lived it. And, as a friend of a biology major, I can say confidently that science is on my side.

How was my weekend?

• High: My friends gave me a 10:10 PM official tour of Kenyon College
• Low: I ate a sad sandwich in an airport Chili’s alone
• Buffalo: I was on duty Saturday night and I’m pretty sure the Thetas were the only living creatures on campus

How was YOUR weekend?

“I experienced the Mandela Effect with Camp Rock 3. Camp Rock 3 doesn’t exist.”

“I read about 100 chapters of a Harry Styles fanfiction.”

“I got really high and made my boyfriend watch Victorious with me.”

~~A Look Ahead~~

What: Basketball against Oberlin

• both women and men
• throwin’ around the orange coconut
• jumping!

When: Wednesday @ 6 & 8 pm

Where: Where the sports happen!!