We like to stay pretty competitive here at The Thrill, and a Blog Off is one way we can definitively prove that one of us is objectively a better blogger (dare we say, a better person). So we leave it to you, the reader, to decide in a blind taste test who is really better as we square off on various topics. This time around, we have Co Editor-in-Chief, Michael Audet ’20 and Executive Editor, Jane Zisman ’20 battling it out RE: Cyberbullying vs. IRL Bullying. Who will come out victorious? Only you can decide.

Blogger A

Face-to-face bullying may be a more pure, time-honored tradition of bullying, but cyberbullying provides many distinct advantages. The mask of anonymity lets you get away with saying some twisted shit with minimal repercussions, so even little wimps can get off on enacting their power fantasy of subverting the time they were bullied in third grade. Irl bullying can be scary for bully and victim alike. Online, you can make sure the bullying subject is the only one getting dunked on. You can also revisit all your favorite posts and moments of bullying for time immemorial, whereas the memory of irl bullying is likely to fade as time passes. And with cyberbullying you never run the risk of seeing your victim, like, cry or something, which is just embarrassing. Plus, when you’re an irl bully, you don’t get to bully the most fun target of all: celebrities. Have you ever responded to a John Green tweet with something like “stinky stinky poo poo?” It’s invigorating.

Blogger B

What’s better than your own lunch money? Someone else’s lunch money. How does one acquire someone else’s lunch money did you ask? Not through the cyber world, that’s for sure. I ain’t tryin’ to use bitcoin to buy myself some chocolate milk from Denise the lunch lady. Real-time, face to face bullying is an essential aspect of human society. It brings us back to our roots as carnal beings. Irl bullying makes use of all the senses in a way that cyberbullying is lacking. The feeling of your fist clenched around the collar of the First-Year wearing a Weaver Wednesday t-shirt is invigorating. The rush of dopamine your brain receives when you taste the tears of a shining eyed member of Pep Band is unparalleled. The smell of the Mod B toilet you just shoved the head of a Helpline assistant down is pungently delicious. The whimpers of the Collegian reporter you wedgied echoes majestically in your ears. Let us not mess with this age-old tradition. Let us bully to our best, most tactile and interactive abilities. Don’t hide behind the mask of online anonymity. Stand up and be the bully you are. Prideful bullies unite in the face of cyberbullies because you are the OGs.