The fall semester is almost over here at gay old Kenyon College, and while the impending doom of finals may be muting your holiday cheer, they are coming. And that means that you have to stop toying with the idea of opening your Psych textbook for the first time in months and start thinking about how the hell you are going to get your parents something for the holidays at the tiniest college in the world. Well, have no fear! The Thrill is here to help aid you with this handy guide of unforgettable gifts from the Village Market and Kenyon Bookstore.

If your parents are hosting a holiday party this year, give them the gift of not having to worry about dessert. Pick up one of these delicious (I assume) strawberry cheesecakes from the Market that I’ve never actually seen anyone buy. 

If your parents went to college, there is a pretty good chance that they did so in the 1980s. And if there is anything people in the ’80s loved more than coke, it was Pink Floyd, I assume. Help your parents reminisce about the first time they went “Whoa, that’s just how I feel” when they listened to “Time” with this rainbow prism.

Whether you have a mom who loves honey or a father who belongs to the subculture of stocky, hairy gay men, this hat will be sure to make waves this holiday season.

Maybe you saw Once Upon a Time…in Hollywood with your parents over the summer, in which case there is no better—or more cost-effective—way to reflect on the memory than with these fun stocking-stuffers, the Finger Feet!

I don’t know much about dads, but I do know that they love alcohol and glasses to drink it from. Combine that with school spirit and get your pop one of these Kenyon College drinking glass babies from the bookstore.

The holidays are a special time, and what better way is there to chill out and take the edge off than these absolutely repugnant-looking new CBD drinks from the Market?

Well, there you have it. The Thrill‘s official holiday gift guide for your parents. It can be hard to do your holiday shopping in a place as isolated and with as few retail opportunities as the Hill, but bring home one of these babies and I’m sure you will be the talk of the holiday party!