I am going abroad next semester. Though I will be returning to the Hill next August, I want to burn some bridges before I go. Here are some hot takes and observations I’ve made this semester.

1. We, as a collective student body, do not need to receive emails intended for students taking music lessons (or any type of niche group like that).
2. Men on this campus who seem like they are virtue signaling probably are.
3. STEM majors are boring, but I guess they deserve to be here as much as the rest of us do.
4. Intensely hating Moxie is as obnoxious as intensely stanning Moxie.
5. AVI employees give infinite shits about us. They work so hard to make Peirce fun. If you cannot be kind to them, do not go to Peirce.
6. Freitag is overcharging you.
7. The best day of the winter season is the first day that Pep Band stops playing smugly in Peirce.
8. Getting accommodations when you don’t need them just for shits is not great
9. Students taking things like VI tables is not really quirky nor funny, just kind of weird and privileged. Do not take things that are not yours.
10. Same goes for people who trash this school when they are drunk. There are people who have to clean up after you.
11. Professors with absolutely no tolerance for absences need to have a come to Jesus and realize we are all just humans trying our best.
12. The QR requirement is shitty if that’s not what you’re into, but you did sign up to go to a liberal arts school. The premise of going here is a well rounded education and knowing how to count is part of that.
13. Related: complaining about living in the middle of nowhere is a boring hobby.
14. Finally, the vast majority of those who I know at this school are absolute delights. There are so many people here who are kind and smart and engaged. It’s easy to shit on Kenyon, but Kenyon is mostly good. It is a real god damn pleasure to live, love, and eat Torte on Sundays atop this here hill.

see you hooligans in august

godspeed to my haters,

reilly