10 o’clock list: Kenyon Resolutions

Even though the New Year was invented by Hallmark to sell holiday cards, it’s still a valuable opportunity to work towards self-improvement. And going off of what I’ve seen since we got back, you people have a long way to go. 

There’s still time to make a resolution and stick to it. If you had a resolution and already broke it, there’s still time to make another. If you never make resolutions because “self-improvement should be a lifelong investment, not an annual fad,” fuck you.

Become a better person, and more importantly, a better Kenyon student by following these resolutions, none of which involve going to the KAC.

  1. Get off Kenyon Tinder 
  2. Try one thing from the cold bar that scares you every day
  3. Start your homework for seminar before the day of your seminar
  4. Learn to love Peirce coffee. Dark roast is pretty good! 
  5. Take yourself off that dis-list you joined at the involvement fair and have never gotten anything out of or opened anything from since September of freshman year
  6. Do NOT park your car there, it is NOT worth the risk
  7. Freshmen: challenge yourself to eat a meal alone in Peirce. It’s really not that bad. (The ADR doesn’t count)
  8. You get six Pass/D/Fails. If you need them, use them. It’s called self-care
  9. If you live in an apartment, take out the trash BEFORE it gets too full or too smelly to carry. This resolution is directed at the members of New Apt F7
  10. APPLY TO THE THRILL!

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