Even though the New Year was invented by Hallmark to sell holiday cards, it’s still a valuable opportunity to work towards self-improvement. And going off of what I’ve seen since we got back, you people have a long way to go.
There’s still time to make a resolution and stick to it. If you had a resolution and already broke it, there’s still time to make another. If you never make resolutions because “self-improvement should be a lifelong investment, not an annual fad,” fuck you.
Become a better person, and more importantly, a better Kenyon student by following these resolutions, none of which involve going to the KAC.
- Get off Kenyon Tinder
- Try one thing from the cold bar that scares you every day
- Start your homework for seminar before the day of your seminar
- Learn to love Peirce coffee. Dark roast is pretty good!
- Take yourself off that dis-list you joined at the involvement fair and have never gotten anything out of or opened anything from since September of freshman year
- Do NOT park your car there, it is NOT worth the risk
- Freshmen: challenge yourself to eat a meal alone in Peirce. It’s really not that bad. (The ADR doesn’t count)
- You get six Pass/D/Fails. If you need them, use them. It’s called self-care
- If you live in an apartment, take out the trash BEFORE it gets too full or too smelly to carry. This resolution is directed at the members of New Apt F7
- APPLY TO THE THRILL!
The Kenyon Thrill 