Hey there, and welcome to The Thrill Kitchen! The birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and guess what? UH OH! It may have recently rained or snowed, and as soon as you step outside you’re going to go slipping and sliding. So why not take matters into your own hands and take revenge by making it into a delicious soup? Here is recipe I made. Eat it, or don’t. The choice is in your hands. Make sure Strega Nona is there to cook and approve of the product.

Ingredients:

• Cigarette butt
• Loose change
• Sand and silt
• Mud and muck
• Sad slushy snow
• Pocket lint :)
• Garlic powder to taste

Step One: Fall on your stupid sad face but play it off by pretending you dropped a coin and you’re picking it up now. Now your mouth is full of middle path and you realize…tastes kinda good? Soup time.

Step Two: Scoop up as much of the path as you can in a big pot. If you can’t get your own Middle Path, any gross objects or mud you can scrounge up are fine.

Step Three: Separate the wet ingredients (mud) from the dry ingredients (cigarette butt, loose change, sand and silt, and garlic powder). Leave the snow for later.

Step Four: Boil the snow. Toss all the other ingredients in there and stir them up.

Step Five: Now, you can enjoy! Chicken Soup for the Troubled College Soul.