We’re officially in the year 2020. Wild, right? I thought I’d use this time to wax nostalgic on the past decade. All in all, I think most of us remember it pretty well. Barack Obama, Toy Story 3, and Twitter. I think those were the important parts. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I’d like to remind everyone of what the decade will truly be remembered for: stupid internet challenges. I want each and every one of you to remember that you were a dumbass at one point. I won’t let you forget it.
In order to honor the people that pioneered internet challenges, those noble few who decided to eat tide pods for a joke, I will be doing early 2010s internet challenges. Starting, of course, with the most iconic of them all: The Cinnamon Challenge.
Because I’m a bad roommate, I decided to use the last pinch of cinnamon in the house to perform this challenge. As soon as the cinnamon hit my mouth, the far-off year of 2020 felt like a bad dream. In that moment, there was no climate change or deep-seated social unrest. There was only cinnamon.
But I did not enjoy what followed. The cinnamon absorbs moisture so fast. I had no time to create more saliva before it was sucked out of my mouth again. This went on for quite some time. By the time I was able to swallow the cinnamon, it had reached my sinuses. This was very unfortunate for me because I could smell nothing but cinnamon for the next 15 minutes.
If we don’t remember the past then we are doomed to repeat it, so let’s burn this into our collective memory. We can’t let ourselves forget. Reach out to me if you have any suggestions for future challenges.