Photo Courtesy of Long Island Medium

There is a glitch in the matrix. We go to a boarding school in a fake New England village oasis in the Midwest. Each year after the seniors graduate, they are replaced by freshman doppelgängers. There is no justice. There is no commencement speaker for the Class of 2020. Yet still, we go through the motions, day in and day out, hoping that maybe one day, Moxie culture will die and a Peirce Date will bring us eternal love. That’s why this weekend, The Thrill is prescribing the antidote to all your woes, a temporary escape from The Simulation.

The Fixings:

• 2 cups ice cubes
• 1 oz vodka
• 1 oz gin
• 1 oz white rum
• 1 oz white tequila
• 1/2 oz Triple Sec
• 2 tbs freshly squeezed lemon juice
• 1/2 cup cola
• 2 lemon wedges

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. Pour the vodka, gin, rum, tequila, Triple Sec, and lemon juice into the shaker. Cover and shake vigorously to combine and chill. Pour the mixture, ice and all, into 2 glasses or beer mugs and top off with the cola. Garnish with lemon wedges. Serve, sit back, relax and and slip away. It’s the only proven method to escape whatever you’re running from.