You read their expectations. You prayed for their survival. Now you learn how their night really went.
“I learned not to treat an open bar like a buffet.”
“I spoke to old profs, danced with my friends, took advantage of the open bar, wore a shiny dress, and, most importantly, didn’t even come close to vomiting. I would have loved to learn the commencement speaker, but such is life.”
“I wanted to talk to 0 professors but I ended up talking to 4. I didn’t join the congo line but I did dance pretty hard. All the pictures of me are unfortunate. Expectations surpassed.”
“I was crushed by the lack of Patrick Bottiger.”
“I spilled wine on my favorite professor, drank too much cider, went ham on the mac and cheese bites, and spent the 2-millisecond-long silence in between songs having an existential crisis about my future!”
“My high was definitely seeing a drunk old man really letting loose on the dancefloor. My low was falling down the steps of Gund Commons and getting a giant ass bruise.”