Our dear dear first-year writers and editors experienced their first-ever Inaugural Ball this weekend! So we asked them: What did you think? Did you like it? Were you scared? Did you cry? Are you okay? Is there someone I can call? An ambulance? Do you need an ambulance? Oh god  you don’t have insurance okay oh god oh fuck I can’t drive but I can call you an Uber? Yeah? Is Uberpool okay?

“There was lots of yelling. I got yelled at by a member of the illegal substances club for trying to take a cup of warm beer. They played Shakira and it felt like an oxymoron. idk I can’t explain it. I played a fun game: which substance is on the floor and why is it slippery?” 

“I didn’t even go with glitter on me and woke up with it literally everywhere. Everywhere. And the marker they wrote on my hands won’t wash off. Help.” 

“I didn’t go to inaug ball because I knew for once there would be some goddamn peace and quiet on third floor McBride.”

“I also did not go to inaug ball because I really wanted to clean my room and I quite enjoyed being able to stand with my arms outstretched and spin in a circle without injuring seventeen people.”

“Inaug Ball, or as I like to call it, Deb Ball 2: Electric Boogaloo, was an experience. I arrived at 10:30 and naively assumed that campo had shut the party down. In reality, it just didn’t start until 11. I forgot about the fact that this all-campus takes place at a SIGNIFICANTLY COLDER time of year than all of the others. To distract from how cold our legs were, my friend and I played “Lay All Your Love On Me” by ABBA while we walked south. That was honestly the highlight of my night.” 

“It was so cool watching everyone try to figure out what to do when R. Kelly’s ‘Remix to Ignition’ came on. It got turned off, then came BACK on. Fun stuff! Mostly I was just sweaty.”