Kenyon Siblings: The Mannings

This piece is the latest in a series on Kenyon Sibling relationships. Yeah, I said it. There are siblings out there that actually want to spend time together. I had the pleasure of interviewing myself, Elijah Manning ‘23, and the burden of interviewing my sister, Dylan Manning ‘21, about life at Kenyon College. We may have a residence hall named after us, but this interview will convince you that we got here on our own merit.

 How is life at Kenyon with your sibling?

Dylan: It’s pretty great. I often forget that we go to the same college, so it’s cool to see a familial face pop up every now and again. Sometimes we study together, but our study sessions usually just become us watching news bloopers on youtube. It’s a lot of fun.

Elijah: Yeah, I also forget about Dylan too…no offense. But it’s always a delight when I see her. It’s good to know that there’s someone on campus who has your back. Dylan’s always willing to help me with my homework or listen to me vent about my problems. Other times we’ll just hang out and laugh. 

Have you seen another side of your sibling at Kenyon?

Dylan: I mean, I wish I had, but I’ve invited you to parties and you haven’t gone to any of them. 

Elijah: Yeah, but you invited me last minute and there’s something called homework and academics- the reason why we’re here. 

Dylan: I guess I’ve learned that Elijah is really good about getting sleep. It’s pretty impressive that someone can turn in so early, even on the weekends, instead of socializing or interacting with other people.

Favorite Parent?

Dylan: Mom.

Elijah: Yeah, definitely.

Dylan: 100%. Ed Manning my ass.

Kenyon Purge, Yes or No?

Dylan: I say, no.

Elijah: Yes

 What Kenyon building is your sibling and why?

Elijah: Peirce, because Dylan brings people together and makes good food. 

Dylan: I feel like Elijah is Caples because he’s creepy, tall, and gangly.

Elijah: Wow, I didn’t know a five-minute interview could be filled with so much passive aggression. 

Dylan: Alrighty, I think we should just focus on answering the questions.

Elijah: If Dylan was a building she would be Mod C, because it gives off bad vibes for no reason whatsoever.

Dylan: If I’m Mod C, then you’re the new library. You try to hide all the false promises with a wall but behind the facade, you’re just an empty husk of a building. That’s why I’m the favorite child and you’ll always live in my shadow.

Elijah: Okay, let’s just take a deep breath for a second before we hear a brief word from our sponsors. I know that the growing rift between us has its toll and often seems insurmountable, but through connecting shared values and common goals I believe Mike Bloomberg will lead our country into the future. Mike Will Get It Done.

This interview was sponsored by Mike Bloomberg. 

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